Jenny's Jitters & Thanks for Seeing Me Through!

Thank you to anyone who has been subjected to an endless tirade of nervous nonsense from me recently.  I'll admit it, it's true - I fall to pieces the week before a race.  I start doubting myself and my abilities.  I have at least one mini-breakdown and plenty of rants and raves ensue.  These phrases, and many others like them, leave my mouth at regular intervals in any given day:
 

• What was I thinking even signing up for this?
• I haven't trained enough!
• I'm not going to finish!
• I've got to be crazy believing I can do this...

Well, the big moment is finally here - we leave for Orlando at 6:30 tomorrow morning.  So the blog will be silent for a few days...  Don't worry, it may be quiet for a while, but I'll do a race report as soon as I can after we get back.

So the point of this post is really to give a huge big THANK YOU to everyone who's been here for me, in any capacity, the last 4 months.  And an even bigger thank you to anyone who's put up with me recently, offering your support and encouragement.  I really love you guys, and couldn't have done it without you!

Are You a Runner?

When I'm asking myself this question, my answer changes constantly: if it's been a good week, it's a yes, if it hasn't been, it's a resounding no.  When other people ask me this, I will usually respond with "I run" or "I run/walk."  For some reason, I shy away from actually saying the words "I am a runner." 

So why the waffling?  Why the indirect answers?  Maybe it's a lack of self-esteem or lack of commitment on my part, maybe I'm scared that if I answer in the affirmative, I'll be proven wrong.  But how?  And by whom?  Where are these mystical rules posted that define who is a runner and who isn't?

A few months ago, I read a great blog post by Helen on AllEars.net, giving her answer to this question.  Here it is: "Are You A Runner."  I loved her response so much, that I bookmarked the page and will occasionally come back and re-read the post when I'm needing some inspiration/motivation.  For anyone who hasn't read it yet, I highly recommend checking it out ASAP, and for anyone who's seen it already, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Will I ever be confident enough to say those 4 words?  One day, hopefully soon, I'll get there.  But for now, I'll just keep on running...

2 days 'til we leave, 3 days 'til we run!

Goals & Giggles

THE GOAL:  While perusing Running of the Ears this weekend, I came across a new message thread: the "EAR We Come!  Running/Walking Challenge" where everyone was setting a mileage goal for the new year.  So, I jumped on the bandwagon and pledged, in public, to cover 700 miles in 2011.  700 Miles!!!  OMG, what have I gotten myself into?  But I'm hoping that with consistent training, this is not only manageable, but an attainable goal for the coming year!  And, considering my love of numbers, it gives me another thing to track!

THE GIGGLE:  Last year after the Half, my dad and I agreed that we'd run in costume in 2011.  I, of course, chose Minnie Mouse - super easy, right?  Wrong!  After Halloween, I went looking for a full costume, and found one.  I bought it, then started having second thoughts...there was no way I was going to be able to run in satin, sequins, and tulle!  So, I kept looking.  During our Christmas trip to Disney, I found a Minnie Mouse apron - perfect!  I shortened it about 2.5" to make it easier to run in, and have combined it with black & red running clothes.  Clip-on Minnie "ears" and a polka-dot hairbow complete to look.  I finally tried on the entire outfit this evening, and felt ridiculous - but couldn't stop giggling.  I can't wait to wear it - it's the perfect combination of "serious runner" (i.e. the dri-fit shirts & compression tights) and Disney magic.  I'm going to leave you in suspense as to my dad's choice of costume, but I will tell you this - for anyone who knows my dad, you'll never believe it!  This race should be a hoot!

As for the sickness?  I'm finally back to feeling pretty normal!  I'm still sniffling and coughing a little, but I'm hoping both will wane as the week continues on...

4 days 'til we leave, 5 days 'til we run!

Mountains or Molehills?

With less than a week to go before the Half, still recovering from a very nasty cold, and having just walked a very slow 5 miles yesterday, that old, horrifying, fear is back - what if this year's just going to be a repeat of the last?!?  What if, with this cold still lingering, all the training I've put in over the last 4 months doesn't matter at all, and my mind and willpower can't overcome the limitations that might be imposed on my body if I can't shake this thing?  As I tend to do, I've conjured up all kinds of horrible possibilities that are building on top of the usual pre-race jitters.  So my plan is to spend the rest of the weekend trying to turn the mountains in my mind back into the molehills that they really are...  I'll pour over next weekend's weather forecasts for Orlando, make a lengthy packing list, plan and change my race-day outfit at least half a dozen times, and try to rest, relax, and allow my body to keep recovering.  There's not much else I can do, really.

The countdown to Marathon Weekend has begun!  5 days 'til we leave, and 6 days 'til the race!!!